he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Naked Twister starts at high noon
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
