I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
