we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
