Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize