I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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