also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
