Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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