I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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