she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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