You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
