He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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