what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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