this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
