I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize