I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
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We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
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if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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