Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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