there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
