He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
