I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
