I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
