Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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