We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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