Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
how can u be prego again
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
