Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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