I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i've created a new STD.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
how does that bad decision feel?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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