awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
