I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
