i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
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I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
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There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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