there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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