Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize