Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
