Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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