You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize