If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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