Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
