I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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