If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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