this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
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I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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