So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
