I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
