Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The adults are the big ones right?
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