You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
