pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
