I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
my liver is dry heaving
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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