You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
