You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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