This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
