Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
