I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
