I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
