8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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