Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
