I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
