I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize