I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
