she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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