There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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