I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
