I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
