You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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