dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
