I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
