every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
