But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
